This question stops my heart. It freezes me. This question will always end in the name of a toy that is either (i) incredibly small (ii) hasn’t been seen, played with or mentioned for 18 months or (iii) I’ve already taken to the charity shop.
I try not to say the classic line [‘where did you last leave it?’ – for avoidance of doubt]. But it’s hard not to. My three girls don’t yet understand the irony of this question, but they sure do embrace the frustration of it.
Tears. Shouting. Shaking. Stomping. Weeping. Tucking up all foetal behind the curtain.
Sometimes all three have lost something at the same time. Where do I start? I try to think; what is the fairest way to do this? Who is crying the loudest? Whose need is greatest? What item am I most likely to find? When they were small I could say silly things like ‘Let’s look in the fridge!’ and they would trot off to the fridge to look and get distracted by something along the way. But that doesn’t work any more.
And here’s another thing; it’s not just the children, it’s daddy too. ‘Have you seen…?’ ‘Do you know where my….?’ ‘I’ve lost my…’ And oh yes another classic in the ‘Lost Property’ tool kit; ‘Did you move my …. I’m pretty sure I put it just there.’
Once I was in Cape Town for work, and he sent me a text message;
- Do you know where Anna’s shoes are?
- From 3,000 miles away? No, I’m afraid I don’t. Although what I really wrote was; Try under the stairs, the porch, under the sofa? Sorry I can’t be more helpful, it’s a bit tricky not being there.
I’m so tired. I operate only on a need to know, need to remember basis. My brain has no spare capacity at all. But I get down on my hands and knees and start looking for the item anyway.
And the most annoying thing of all – I usually find it. Yes, I find it. Because I’m looking. I am actually looking. And in sensible places. Places the item is likely to be. ,Instead of tearing round the house shouting about it.
But there is nothing more frustrating than when I lose things – and yes, I also loose things. The answer from each and every one of them is ‘No, haven’t seen it.’
Triple Trouble Tribe 